Mixed Day

It's been a busy week, and it's only wednesday! And today has been my biggy. Today I was interviewed to be on the "graduate faculty", that is to go up a step (in nothing major like pay, or permanence) so I could be on graduate student committees and be an advisor. I was told it was a "formality", yet I was grilled. There are two levels to being on the graduate faculty here - one is Associate and one Full (the difference being in associate you have to request each time you want to advise a grad student, both you can be on committees regardless) - and the department chair advised me to go for full. Well the faculty pulled the 'too young' card and grilled me for 30 minutes on my lack of advising experience. 

So the good thing is I am now an "associate graduate faculty" and according to the chair it would be no issue for me to get my own grad students to advise, so thats a yay. But I didn't get on the full, so thats kind of a poop. "Junior faculty" and my position is soft money (money you have to raise yourself through grants - so isn't certain or steady) is the reasoning. Which I can kind of see, so shouldn't be too bummed as I did still go up a step. But I also can't help being bummed, I hate having the "you're too young" card being pulled at me, really pisses me off. Doesn't seem to matter that i've brought in more grant money or written more papers than many of the faculty on tenure track around here. Or that I advised two masters students when I was doing my own PhD thesis. Or that I already have 2 PhD students here basically working in my lab. Nope, just too young. 

And when I got home I managed to drop the toilet roll holder (the springy bit in the middle sprung away from me) in the toilet........the only time my "if it's yellow let it mellow" rule really wasn't a good thing.........so it just feels like things are against me today.